Cheesy Gordita Crunch

...its a Cheesy Gordita Crunch obviously

"2 Cheesy Gordita Crunches with a Large Mt. Dew... that's all for me"

We were all strangers who met at a Taco Bell in Phoenix, AZ and were all eating Cheesy Gordita Crunches. We all decided then and there that we would travel the country trying CGCs to see if they were all the same. On our travels we robbed a bank, attended a WNBA game, arm wrestled in a gas station men's room in Kentucky for cash, camped out in some guy's backyard for 4 months without him knowing, blackmailed Matt Damon, were extras in World War Z (uncredited), ate alligator and visited Kurt Cobaine's grave. We finally ended up in Chicago, where we all currently share a studio apartment. It was really tough trying to convince someone to let us all share a studio apt together but we settled with one landlord over a game of checkers. We won so we got the apartment, but we actually cheated. Who cares. At this point we realized we need to get jobs, but we don't have any skills. We though we could all work at Taco Bell cause we have so much experience in the Gordita game, but apparently when you don't shower, people are hesitant to hire you. We pan handled for a loooong time. If you've ever exited the expressway in Chicago, you've seen one of us. If you gave one of use money, it didn't go to drugs or booze, it went to plan B pills. One night we gathered enough scratch to rent a movie, we watched the movie "Dodgeball: A true underdog story" and decided we would make millions by playing dodgeball. Have you seen that movie? Its that one where Vince Vaughn has a gym and he needs to save it, so he enters a dodgeball tournament, but the Ben Stiller wants to buy the gym so he tries to stop Vaughn from playing and beating him. There is also a love interest in the movie, Christine Taylor, who happens to be Ben Stiller's wife in real life. (Fun fact for ya) Well she ends up wanting to get with Vaughn and they play dodgeball in Vegas for like $50,000 or something like that I kinda forget the end, but whatever. I really want to see Interstellar, ever since Dallas Buyers Club and True Detective, I've been on a McConaughey kick. I can't believe how much weight he lost for Dallas Buyers Club, pretty crazy. Jared Leto was great in that movie too. I really like Jared Leto in Requiem for a Dream. I saw that movie and never wanted to do drugs again. They cut his arm off!!! So yeah.... Oh yeah ok, we watched that dodgeball movie and were out of ideas on how to make that scrilla. We tried to open a gym thinking that was an idea, but trying to get people to pay you to lift bags of garbage and rocks isn't a great business plan. We tried to say we had a pool by letting people hang out it our bathtub, but people don't like when you stare at them do that. weird. You know what I think is really awkward is when people look at you in traffic and then look away when you catch them. Why are they embarrassed to be caught looking at me? I'm a good looking dude, I take it as a compliment that you're checking me out. Have you ever made a friend in traffic? I want to put my phone number on the back of my car and have people call me and we can talk as we travel. I get bored driving around this world, I could use a new friend to help pass the time. Wouldn't that make driving friendlier? Instead being pissed that someone cut you off and yelling at them anonymously you could say. "Hey Frank, I woulda let you in if you properly used your turn signal and not just barged in" Then Frank says he's sorry and tells me about his awful work day and how his boss is up his butt about some new client and its like a bit of therapy. Therapy helps everyone. Oh man, in the other room South Park is on tv. Its that episode where Butters turns into Professor Chaos. Butters is the coolest!!! I was thinking, Aliens, everyone wonders IF they exist, what if they already existed but they are already dead just like the human race will eventually become extinct. Back to dodgeball. So we wanted to make some money and found out there is this massive dodgeball tournament in Las Vegas every year called Elite Dodgeball and they hand out gobs of money to the winners, so we are practicing to win that.